My friend Eleanor is one of the most decisive people I know. In the time I've had the pleasure of calling her friend, I don't think I've ever seen her doubt herself, once. She knows what she wants in life, in meals, in relationships, in fashion choices, in her faith, and in her tile choice … Continue reading I don’t know what to call this post: Or, on a life of chronic indecisiveness.
Author: Kirsten Macaitis
“I’m here while you’re in it”: On being accompanied when you’re at your worst.
In a recent session with my genius therapist she encouraged me to speak of what was making me angry. "Tell me one thing that's making you angry.""Just one thing?" I replied. (I'm funny, friends)."Start with one. We'll work our way from there." I then shared some aspects of anger (a particularly potent emotion for me). … Continue reading “I’m here while you’re in it”: On being accompanied when you’re at your worst.
“But I don’t know how to roller skate!”: On when you have to lead/parent/adult beyond your own experience
My dear daughter got invited to go roller skating a few months back. I was excited for her; it was a chance for her to catch up with school mates during the holiday break, so I readily accepted the invitation on her behalf. Furthermore, I had fond memories of my own childhood, going to parties … Continue reading “But I don’t know how to roller skate!”: On when you have to lead/parent/adult beyond your own experience
“Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
One of the best things that I've done in my life is see a therapist. She has been instrumental in helping me navigate significant trauma and unhelpful - even destructive - learned responses in my life, giving me tools of reflection, honesty and growth to navigate conflict and challenges. Nevertheless, as much as this process … Continue reading “Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
It's been over 10 years since I began this blog, this little space where I write a bit and some of you are gracious to read a bit too. Many times over the past years I have cringed at the title, and contemplated changing its name simply to Kirsten Macaitis - pockets being a juvenile, … Continue reading better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
Fake it till you make it: How do we stop feeling like imposters in our own lives?
“Fake it till you make it!” Sound familiar? While you flounder in self-doubt, the other people around you are the winners, the successful ones, the more sure, the more established, the clearer voice, the sharper image. These, my friends, are the hallmarks of imposter syndrome. You may have met this beast on your travels. Even as we know it today, imposter syndrome usually puts the blame on individuals – and labels those with imposter syndrome as sufferers – without accounting for the historical and cultural contexts that are foundational to how it manifests in particular populations. The answer is not – and cannot – be merely to tell people to “BE MORE CONFIDENT!” It doesn’t work that way.
the want for a want for righteousness
What a comforting thought, God. That the want for righteousness is seen - is recognised - and is granted sustenance. I say this because we can look at the righteous - the 'good' people in this world, the ones who have 'arrived' at a state of righteousness - and think they are the [only] ones … Continue reading the want for a want for righteousness
On controlling a narrative vs living a legacy: Maybe there are times to tell the full story
Travers: "Mary Poppins is the very enemy of whimsy and sentiment. She's truthful. She doesn't sugarcoat the darkness in the world that these children will eventually, inevitably, come to know - she prepares them for it. She deals in honesty. One must clean one's room. It won't magically do it by itself. This entire script … Continue reading On controlling a narrative vs living a legacy: Maybe there are times to tell the full story
A Jack of all trades, Master of none; On being a bridge between worlds when we’re left of centre
A few months back I finished a lecture in one of my Sociology of Gender classes. It was a great, dynamic exchange with students: the conversation was lively and engaged. But as I returned to my office, I felt the overwhelming need to burst into tears. I was wracked by doubt both in my status … Continue reading A Jack of all trades, Master of none; On being a bridge between worlds when we’re left of centre
When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
"You're so strong!" "You're so resilient!" Have you ever been the recipient of these tidings? Or been the one who utters them? "No one else could deal with what you've been through!" In so many ways, to tell someone they're strong is one of the highest compliments we can give - "Hey you - congratulations … Continue reading When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
Better With Pockets 