“Fake it till you make it!” Sound familiar? While you flounder in self-doubt, the other people around you are the winners, the successful ones, the more sure, the more established, the clearer voice, the sharper image. These, my friends, are the hallmarks of imposter syndrome. You may have met this beast on your travels. Even as we know it today, imposter syndrome usually puts the blame on individuals – and labels those with imposter syndrome as sufferers – without accounting for the historical and cultural contexts that are foundational to how it manifests in particular populations. The answer is not – and cannot – be merely to tell people to “BE MORE CONFIDENT!” It doesn’t work that way.
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the want for a want for righteousness
What a comforting thought, God. That the want for righteousness is seen - is recognised - and is granted sustenance. I say this because we can look at the righteous - the 'good' people in this world, the ones who have 'arrived' at a state of righteousness - and think they are the [only] ones … Continue reading the want for a want for righteousness
When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
"You're so strong!" "You're so resilient!" Have you ever been the recipient of these tidings? Or been the one who utters them? "No one else could deal with what you've been through!" In so many ways, to tell someone they're strong is one of the highest compliments we can give - "Hey you - congratulations … Continue reading When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
hello darkness, my old friend: on greeting our ick
I don't like admitting my anxiety. But I feel anxious sometimes.I don't like feeling ashamed. But that's a frequent guest in my house too.My frustrations and anger are likewise good at exposing themselves in inopportune moments. So in light of this: here's my greeting: I spent the beginning of the year feeling guilty. Guilty about … Continue reading hello darkness, my old friend: on greeting our ick
On Maslow’s Hammer: Or maybe you are more* than you think you are
*this is not your average pep talk. believe me. please read on. a couple of months ago I came downstairs after settling my son for his morning nap, to find that there was a whole heap of blonde hair sitting on our dining room table. My daughter was suspiciously out of sight. and quiet. I … Continue reading On Maslow’s Hammer: Or maybe you are more* than you think you are
On Recognition: When we see ourselves in others – and when we simply see them.
Photo by JESSICA TICOZZELLI on Pexels.com the recognition of the otheroften tells us more about ourselvesthan the person we see. perhaps in the other we see strength - strength to endure, to produce, to protest, to protect, to reach.strength that we once had but loststrength that seems to evade us strength that is actually a … Continue reading On Recognition: When we see ourselves in others – and when we simply see them.
ON GENEROUS, EMPATHETIC JOY: OR, WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO/HAVE GREAT THINGS (and you don’t)
Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com In 2012 Shannon and I had the great privilege of travelling around the world (pre-covid days. Obviously). I remember several conversations in the months leading up to our trip, where select people, upon hearing our plans, responded with the following: "I'm so jealous!" -them (and sometimes me) Of course, … Continue reading ON GENEROUS, EMPATHETIC JOY: OR, WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO/HAVE GREAT THINGS (and you don’t)
“You don’t have to fill ice cube trays to the top!” On traditions and habits…and how they might do with a revisit.
"You don't have to fill ice cube trays to the top!" exclaimed a dear friend in a phone call to me a few years ago. The excited revelation came after we had both been married and out of home for several years. "Kirsten, you don't have to fill ice cubes to the top. You can … Continue reading “You don’t have to fill ice cube trays to the top!” On traditions and habits…and how they might do with a revisit.
On sporadic shorthand and compassion; Or, on a decade without Joanie.
There are several things that I love about this photo. It's a list of quotes and sayings that Joan collected & compiled. Let me tell you why I love it. The pad is full. Every page. Back and front.It's one of many that she filled over her life.She didn't discriminate in her wisdom; there's quotes … Continue reading On sporadic shorthand and compassion; Or, on a decade without Joanie.
“Can you give me the specifics?” Or, when analogies fail.
There is NOTHING more specific than a four year old. I have learned quite quickly that if my daughter wants toast, I’d better ask her how she wants it cut, because cut into squares is of course not the same as triangles. It’s a completely different meal. There is a right way to fold a … Continue reading “Can you give me the specifics?” Or, when analogies fail.
Better With Pockets 