My dear daughter got invited to go roller skating a few months back. I was excited for her; it was a chance for her to catch up with school mates during the holiday break, so I readily accepted the invitation on her behalf. Furthermore, I had fond memories of my own childhood, going to parties … Continue reading “But I don’t know how to roller skate!”: On when you have to lead/parent/adult beyond your own experience
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“Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
One of the best things that I've done in my life is see a therapist. She has been instrumental in helping me navigate significant trauma and unhelpful - even destructive - learned responses in my life, giving me tools of reflection, honesty and growth to navigate conflict and challenges. Nevertheless, as much as this process … Continue reading “Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
It's been over 10 years since I began this blog, this little space where I write a bit and some of you are gracious to read a bit too. Many times over the past years I have cringed at the title, and contemplated changing its name simply to Kirsten Macaitis - pockets being a juvenile, … Continue reading better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
Fake it till you make it: How do we stop feeling like imposters in our own lives?
“Fake it till you make it!” Sound familiar? While you flounder in self-doubt, the other people around you are the winners, the successful ones, the more sure, the more established, the clearer voice, the sharper image. These, my friends, are the hallmarks of imposter syndrome. You may have met this beast on your travels. Even as we know it today, imposter syndrome usually puts the blame on individuals – and labels those with imposter syndrome as sufferers – without accounting for the historical and cultural contexts that are foundational to how it manifests in particular populations. The answer is not – and cannot – be merely to tell people to “BE MORE CONFIDENT!” It doesn’t work that way.
the want for a want for righteousness
What a comforting thought, God. That the want for righteousness is seen - is recognised - and is granted sustenance. I say this because we can look at the righteous - the 'good' people in this world, the ones who have 'arrived' at a state of righteousness - and think they are the [only] ones … Continue reading the want for a want for righteousness
When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
"You're so strong!" "You're so resilient!" Have you ever been the recipient of these tidings? Or been the one who utters them? "No one else could deal with what you've been through!" In so many ways, to tell someone they're strong is one of the highest compliments we can give - "Hey you - congratulations … Continue reading When “You’re so strong!” hits a little wrong – Or, the shadow side of resilience.
hello darkness, my old friend: on greeting our ick
I don't like admitting my anxiety. But I feel anxious sometimes.I don't like feeling ashamed. But that's a frequent guest in my house too.My frustrations and anger are likewise good at exposing themselves in inopportune moments. So in light of this: here's my greeting: I spent the beginning of the year feeling guilty. Guilty about … Continue reading hello darkness, my old friend: on greeting our ick
On Maslow’s Hammer: Or maybe you are more* than you think you are
*this is not your average pep talk. believe me. please read on. a couple of months ago I came downstairs after settling my son for his morning nap, to find that there was a whole heap of blonde hair sitting on our dining room table. My daughter was suspiciously out of sight. and quiet. I … Continue reading On Maslow’s Hammer: Or maybe you are more* than you think you are
On Recognition: When we see ourselves in others – and when we simply see them.
Photo by JESSICA TICOZZELLI on Pexels.com the recognition of the otheroften tells us more about ourselvesthan the person we see. perhaps in the other we see strength - strength to endure, to produce, to protest, to protect, to reach.strength that we once had but loststrength that seems to evade us strength that is actually a … Continue reading On Recognition: When we see ourselves in others – and when we simply see them.
ON GENEROUS, EMPATHETIC JOY: OR, WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO/HAVE GREAT THINGS (and you don’t)
Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com In 2012 Shannon and I had the great privilege of travelling around the world (pre-covid days. Obviously). I remember several conversations in the months leading up to our trip, where select people, upon hearing our plans, responded with the following: "I'm so jealous!" -them (and sometimes me) Of course, … Continue reading ON GENEROUS, EMPATHETIC JOY: OR, WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO/HAVE GREAT THINGS (and you don’t)
Better With Pockets 