It's the second week of May. This time of the year is always heavy with sentimentality; It's our wedding anniversary, it's mothers day, and it's also the anniversary when dad died. Lots of intersecting emotions all in the same few days. So here I am again, thinking about them, once again. Maybe, hopefully, another story … Continue reading On grief, grown up: The power of triangulating our story
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You know this is weird, right? On recognising, sharing – and perhaps challenging – your familiar
One of the core concepts we talk about in sociology is making the familiar unfamiliar. Familiarity is present countless times in our everyday life. The route to work becomes so familiar that it feels like we don't drive it. The recipe that has been handed down in your family takes no time or effort to … Continue reading You know this is weird, right? On recognising, sharing – and perhaps challenging – your familiar
What is your Everest? And maybe, why you don’t need to climb it.
I don’t understand why people climb Mt. Everest. In some ways it’s obvious: a monumental challenge of the body’s limits, conquering the tallest mountain in the world. But I don't get it. Maybe it’s more accurate that I understand why people want to climb the tallest mountain in the world, but I think it’s a … Continue reading What is your Everest? And maybe, why you don’t need to climb it.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly: On Fathers’ Advice.
Something about fatherhood awakens the heart of the advice giver. From the pun to the straight talk, from the dry humour to the analogy, this Father's Day we acknowledge and give thanks for the advice - whether lessons hard won, clichés oft repeated, or earnest dreams to spare loved ones the pain of error. When … Continue reading If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly: On Fathers’ Advice.
“As long as they’re healthy”: On when you don’t get the [parts of the] kid you wanted
It's a classic exchange between an expectant parent and an acquaintance: "Do you know what you're having?...Do you want a boy or a girl?" and we offer the refrain "As long as it's healthy!" ...But what if they're not? In so many - if not almost all - of these circumstances, this conversation is harmless. … Continue reading “As long as they’re healthy”: On when you don’t get the [parts of the] kid you wanted
When we want others to learn a lesson: Litmus tests for truth telling.
Have you ever been in a situation when you're hearing something powerful, or learning a lesson, and thought to yourself; "I wish such and such were here to hear this!" Or likewise, when you observe someone's poor decision or reactions, and want to nail some truths to their door. Maybe we see relationships friends and … Continue reading When we want others to learn a lesson: Litmus tests for truth telling.
“I’m here while you’re in it”: On being accompanied when you’re at your worst.
In a recent session with my genius therapist she encouraged me to speak of what was making me angry. "Tell me one thing that's making you angry.""Just one thing?" I replied. (I'm funny, friends)."Start with one. We'll work our way from there." I then shared some aspects of anger (a particularly potent emotion for me). … Continue reading “I’m here while you’re in it”: On being accompanied when you’re at your worst.
“But I don’t know how to roller skate!”: On when you have to lead/parent/adult beyond your own experience
My dear daughter got invited to go roller skating a few months back. I was excited for her; it was a chance for her to catch up with school mates during the holiday break, so I readily accepted the invitation on her behalf. Furthermore, I had fond memories of my own childhood, going to parties … Continue reading “But I don’t know how to roller skate!”: On when you have to lead/parent/adult beyond your own experience
“Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
One of the best things that I've done in my life is see a therapist. She has been instrumental in helping me navigate significant trauma and unhelpful - even destructive - learned responses in my life, giving me tools of reflection, honesty and growth to navigate conflict and challenges. Nevertheless, as much as this process … Continue reading “Why haven’t I learned this lesson by now!?” On when we seemingly struggle with the same things again – and again – and again.
better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
It's been over 10 years since I began this blog, this little space where I write a bit and some of you are gracious to read a bit too. Many times over the past years I have cringed at the title, and contemplated changing its name simply to Kirsten Macaitis - pockets being a juvenile, … Continue reading better with pockets: A welcome or 10 year kind of celebration
Better With Pockets 