i have only ever given up something for lent once in my life, and

it was chocolate. it was years ago. i remember it being quasi-difficult, but i also remember the double incentives present in the lack of chocolate that was infiltrating my diet during those four weeks.

now in 2011, after several easters that seemed to spring up on me without much reflection, and let’s face it, not much outcome because of it, it appears that this year calls me for another attempt at denying something through lent.

Fasting is the denial of something (usually of bodily requirements), creating within you spiritual thirst. It seems that we deny something of ourselves in order to allow space for God to move in us. Many of my friends have declared several very worthy denials this year: facebook, chocolate, bad day time television, or even television at all.

I’ve had some trouble deciding where to go. yet i think i’ve come to it.
The following statement is one that i will be engaging in in the next 40 days:

things that matter that immediately come to mind: meals. sleep. conversations.

instead of believing that I’m actually marty-mcflying it and manipulating time by watching television and eating my tea at the same time, or facebooking while I’m “trying” to sleep, or playing solitaire while having a conversation with a friend, or reading an important article on the drive to work, or eating lunch at work at my desk, I’m going to endeavour to do one thing at a time, just as they are. If I run out of time and happen to find myself trying to get dressed while blow drying my hair and brushing my teeth while applying mascara, i think i’ll allow myself some latitude because these things don’t matter as much as

conversations with my husband over our dinner
restful sleep and recuperation for the next day
conversations with my dear friends near and far.

I realise that this denial is a little bit abstract and may not sit comfortably in the ‘what are you giving up for lent’ category, but I’m looking forward to seeing how me (attempting to) give up the urge to increase quantity in my time may actually increase the quality of said time.

I’m looking forward to lunch sans my desk because I’m going to take my journal and do some writing, and spend time doing it. I might take my bible. I might even get some actual decent time with God. Who knows. it might blow my mind.

let’s see how we go.

looking forward to easter though….